Sunday, 4 November 2007

BOO!


Happy birthday! Mwah! A year older, a year wiser and a whole lot sexier! ^_^ -Yucel

Happy birthday, J-dahl.
-Marje

Happy birthday dear. Hope I didn't embarrass you much. I meant well, really I did. Mwah! ^_^ -Noel

Happy birthday.
-Alan

Belated happy birthday my friend. I did not know until today that you are a scorpio.
-Rhon

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
There, I'm sure that was a lot easier on the ears than having to hear me sing. Hope it's the beginning of a great year for you.
Love,
Mo

Happy Birthday Jay! I hope the Philippines are treating you well. Though, since I'm reading your blog, I should know.
-Brian

Apparently all these text messages and emails I received last week are from people assuming I've aged another year.

Take a moment, picture Jack Benny, and shout an exasperated Well!

Jack was born in 1894 and died in 1974 at the age of 39.

If he could do it, so can I!

People who do something called "math" tell me he could not have been 39.

Well, neither am I!

One of those above-quoted "friends" got the idea I was turning 45. I've put him on a list, but as I'm keeping this a PG-blog, I can't disclose the name of said list.

I've been asked what moisturizer I use.

Hmmmm.....

What to do with these people?

Waterboard them? It isn't like it's torture. Only problem is it looks like I'd have to get them to the U.S. first before I could do it! Too expensive. The only torture would be on my wallet!

Although maybe he had a point.

Perhaps I could be 45.

After all, right now I'm....

...let's see...

...according to my sister-in-law Kelly, I'm...uh...what was her "math"?

Twenty-nine minus....oh yeah!

I'm 16!

No, that's how old I looked when I graduated college....

When was I last 29?

I couldn't be 29 this year, Edson thought I was 29 last year!

I have something I call "Jay Math" that I think I'll use.

It's very scientific, and about the only thing I took from any mathematics class after fourth grade; and I'm going to share (That's right, no charge!) it with all you lucky readers around the world (provided you are there and I'm not just wasting my evening here)!


Here it is: x-10=Jay


No, I'm no Einstein, but it'll suffice.

Isn't the simplicity stunning?! (Of the formula, not my mind!)

If I have to spell it out for you, it means by using this formula you can insert the age the government, your doctor, parents, family, school, employer, and universally accepted calendars claim you to be in 'x'.

Whatever that number is, subtract 10.

This is your age.

Like nuclear warheads in the hands of madmen,


this is a very dangerous formula.

If you look anything like either of the guys above, do not use this formula!

If your face has more lines than Disneyland and your birth certificate says you were born after 1940, do not use this formula.

If your friends and co-workers scowl when it is time to celebrate your birthday each year, reminded how much better you look at your age than they did at that age, by all means begin using the formula immediately!

This is my little birthday present to all of you. Use it wisely. If you use it well, it saves the pitfall of lying about your age: not remembering how old you really are when someone demands that kind of information.

At any rate, my birthday week was a great one, despite being serenaded by the staff of Friday's (That's what Noel was trying to apologize for above). Edson gave me an external hard drive for my laptop. Kit's family treated me to a day up at the camp in Antipolo complete with massage from a professional masseuse and a chocolate creme filled chocolate cake with cocoa topping.

Decadent?

Yeeeeaaaah!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Me thinks thou dost protest too, too, too much.