Protest to Improve the Economy!

Protest to Improve the Economy!

That's my new idea. It came to me yesterday as I watched what eventually swelled to a crowd of thousands assemble together to protest the rampant corruption in the government (no, not Bush...you're getting ahead of me!) of Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.


Anyway, as I watched the crowd swell, chanting, banners and flags fluttering, drums beating a beat far hipper than most marching bands usually do, and the bells of ice cream vendors vying to be heard through it all, it struck me.

No, I wasn't struck by a vendor's bell! The idea struck me, came to me, dawned upon me....whatever.

Since the US economy is stuck in recession, unemployment is up, people are losing their homes and cars and plasma screen televisions they overextended themselves to buy so they could show off to their neighbors, the government plans to borrow billions of dollars from China to give it a boost, the citizens should protest.

Encourage as many people as you can to protest.

It doesn't even matter what it is you protest. It could be the economy or corruption in Washington, but obviously nobody really cares about that. Protest that there aren't any TV shows in black and white anymore. Protest the absence of calamari on McDonald's menu. Or you could try a protest against the government (good luck!) like the Filipino people did Friday. It wouldn't be as big a protest as against the dominance of color television programming, but urge protests.

Once you have people organizing a protest, here's what is most important to my plan: You sell something to the protesters! That's right. Look, these people must have money! They're out protesting instead of working! People without a job or insurance have no time to protest. They need two or three jobs just to make ends meet. They can't be out protesting. They could get hurt, which means medical bills they can't afford and time away from work. They'd have to cut back on even more in life, like food. These people won't protest. You'll be selling to upper-middle class people and above at these protests.

Like in Makati yesterday, sell ice cream. There were six or seven guys there selling ice cream. Since it's a high-end crowd, you'll want to go with Häagen-Dazs. Or coffee...only Starbucks for those yuppie lemmings! These people will be hungry and thirsty! Croissants, Krispy Kreme, hot dogs....the list goes on, readers!

Just like at any self-respecting sporting event today, no one will be allowed in with an "outside" beverage or food item, so all that thirst and hunger will be yours to profit from.

Now all you have to do is get lazy, self-absorbed and ill-informed Americans out of their homes to do something besides shopping.

I know! Tell them someone from American Idol will be there! More Americans vote for their favorite Idol contestant than for the President of the United States, so if that won't get their asses in gear, nothing will!

In a Monty Python Skit.....

...this would be the Too Much Information Centre!

The Department of Insults is, of course, nearby. In the states we call that Congress. We also call it both the Democratic and Republican parties, the Supreme Court, the President, Vice President, and all access to the Too Much Information Centre is completely off-limits to everyone, especially those who dare ask a question of any of those listed above. Since they question each other, their access is denied as well.

Why do think the Centre is located in the Philippines?!

Happy _________ Day!

Valentine's Day is a capitalist, consumerist holiday (to quote Edson) so we never worry about the chocolates, roses, gifts, wrappings, cards, reservations, and preparations involved in its celebration.

Don't go thinking we don't celebrate anything!

It is a great holiday day, after all. You can share in it as well and not have to worry you are single or not. You can enjoy it with a friend or family member. You can do it at work or while you drive or jog.

What is it?, you ask?

Well, this year is the 114th anniversary of Jack Benny's birthday. Although we're sure he's still 39. We celebrate that instead.

To help you share in the fun I've gathered together a few choice clips from YouTube from Jack's television shows and his Dean Martin Celebrity Roast episode.

Being roasted by Dean and Co.:

Jack takes on Groucho:

With Marilyn Monroe in her first television appearance:


And here is the creme de la creme! A full-length radio broadcast (including those infamous Lucky Strike commercials!) from 1950, where Jack's Maxwell is stolen!

Here's the whole cast: Eddie "Rochester" Anderson, Dennis Day, Phil Harris, Mary Livingstone, Jack, Don Wilson, and Mel Blanc.

And why do we?

We need to laugh, and few do better at making us laugh than Jack. Jack's radio show invented the ensemble situation comedy format that led to shows like the Mary Tyler Moore Show, Cheers, and Friends. He took a lot of risks, allowing himself to be upstaged both by his guests and his regular cast, and hiring one of the first black entertainers in radio when all other major black characters in the medium were played by white actors.

So, while others are busy fretting over which kind of chocolates to buy, reading through an endless variety of greeting cards dripping with syrupy sentiment, realizing nobody carries enough cash in their wallet to buy a dozen roses (thus increasing the purchaser's credit card debt), and desperately seeking reservations to swanky restaurants (note: bring Visa or Mastercard...more debt), we'll be laughing!

No, not at them!!! At Jack & Co.

A Memo from the Columns

While cleaning up the piles of stuff that had accumulated all around my laptop today, I found this memo from our condominium administration department:

The Columns Ayala Avenue Commercial Units will hold their grand opening on Friday, February 8, 2008 from 10AM to 9PM. The event will happen a few days before Chinese New Year, thus planned activities aim to bring good luck and good fortune for the New Year.
In relation to this, the said activity will require a speaker system, which shall be heard, and may possibly generate noise.
In this regard they are seeking for your understanding for whatever inconvenience the event may bring to you.

First, Chinese New Year was the 7th of February; so the event actually occurred a day after Chinese New Year, not a few days before.

Second, what kind of speaker systems are there on the market that are not heard? Isn't that the whole point of a speaker system?

Their speaker system may possibly generate noise.

Again, isn't that the whole point?

Last time I knew, if there wasn't anything present to generate a noise, there wouldn't be anything for us to hear!

The administration certainly didn't place much faith in the system working either!

...may possibly!

That's like saying to a friend, "Hey Nimrod, let's take my car on that camping trip high up into the mountains. It may possibly get us there and back!

Are you going with that putz?

A Day in Intramuros

Since it is virtually impossible to get a working visa in the Philippines I must journey to the Bureau of Immigration every 2 months to have my visa renewed. The journey there isn't so bad if traffic cooperates. It's the journey once inside that's the problem.

The visa renewal experience here is something akin to the famous Marx Brothers Stateroom scene from their classic A Night at the Opera.

The room has all the charm of a poorly maintained bus station. In fact, I think that's where they got their plastic, bucket-seat benches. It is crammed beyond capacity and all the anarchy inherent in the antics of Groucho, Harpo, and Chico seems to play itself out, albeit in slow motion drudgery. Yes, if you have to go to the Bureau of Immigration in Intramuros, you'll even have time to watch A Night at the Opera; so before you go, download it to your ipod so you can watch it while you wait.

I was chatting with a woman from New Zealand who had come to Immigration the previous day at eleven in the morning and waited in line for two hours just to get the form required for her extension. Having other things to do that day, she was back this day with her completed form. She had already been waiting in line an hour when we spoke. It was eleven in the morning once again.

She and I watched as several people ahead of us tucked five hundred peso bills into their passports. The money was then collected by the person working behind the counter so they'd be enticed to process the visas more quickly. I've been told this was a common practice before the bureau was cleaned up a few years ago. Well, government employees don't get paid much; so guess what! Income supplementation is baaaaack!

The crowd was big and bad enough that despite my arriving shortly after the stroke of ten, I still wasn't able to hand over my passport and paperwork (no five hundred peso bill within!) before the workers took lunch.

Yes, they all take lunch at the same time!

At one o'clock I was back in line after taking my own lunch. Since I was now just second in line, I didn't have to wait long for my paperwork to be received. A quick stop by the cashier to pay and hand my passport, paperwork, and receipt to the processor and I was out of there with three hours to kill before my visa extension was ready.

What did I do with three hours to kill?

I nudged my friend, and fellow photographer Darz, who had been waiting outside watching Desperate Housewives on his ipod since ten-thirty in the morning (save for the hour he spent with me at lunch). He had come with me so we could take pictures around Intramuros, the original walled city of Manila.

Street traffic. Note the wall which encloses all of Intramuros in the background.

The wall, with subtle, canon-like feature.

Narrow passage to a corner turret in the wall.



Statue in front of bombed-out church (remember WWII?) with stolen hands. The statue wasn't there during the war. It is much newer. There are still quite a few buildings still in their bombed-out state in Intramuros, which saw very heavy destruction during US bombing raids.

Boys playing basketball beside the ruins of the church.

We returned to Immigration promptly at four to retrieve my passport and headed back to Makati, where we met with Edson for dinner.

He had news. He was on the news, actually; being asked about the effects of the US recession on Filipino life. We received many text messages during our dinner as his man-on-the-street interview was being broadcast at that time.

After dinner, just outside our restaurant a concert was beginning. It featured The Company, a group currently popular due to their CD release Destination: Bossa.

A "Dimly Lit" Update

Jot in Earle's Deli had a hard time with my name the other day.

Of course, he had the noise of six co-workers, a radio playing, and a table of eight Germans to contend with; but at least he had an interesting take on my name.

He heard Che, as in Che Guevara.

Cool! A little too ethnic for one so pale as myself, though.

Then he thought it was Shay.

That's either a girl's name or a type of locomotive.

Don't know how I feel about that one.

As one reader pointed out in my Dimly Lit post, the GBC at the burger place shouldn't have had a hard time with my name as it is a very common name in the Philippines, with several actors being named Jay as well.

But I feel for the guy at Earle's Deli.

His name (again) is Jot.

And I thought people have a tough time with mine!

I'm Nero With a Camera

Imagine yourself on the road in a vehicle and you hear sirens coming from behind. The sirens become louder as fire trucks approach you. All vehicles clear the road in orderly fashion by pulling as far to the right as possible and wait for the fire trucks to pass.

You are NOT imagining a scene in metro Manila.

This might happen in provincial cities and towns in the Philippines. If so, good for you who live there. Aside from the cleaner air, it is another thing for which to be thankful. Should your home or work catch fire, you have a more likely chance of the damage being contained.

Tonight I witnessed a fire that broke out just two (2) blocks from the Makati Central Fire Department just across the street from our building.

If you are reading this shortly after I post it, you are learning of this tragedy before anyone else anywhere. Doesn't that make you feel special?

Anyway, I was passing by my window when, out of the corner of my eye, the sight of flames leaping several stories into the night sky caught my attention. Then I heard a siren. The fire truck was on Ayala Avenue below my window. Cars from the side street were ignoring its flashing red and blue lights and wailing siren and continuing to merge into traffic in front of the cars already blocking the truck on Ayala.

I began snapping pictures and continued to do so for another ten minutes as the truck inched along in traffic.


There were no policemen present (though the police department sits next to the fire department on Ayala) to help usher the fire equipment through.

More sirens were heard as a couple more fire trucks tried to pass without success.

After those ten minutes the first truck had finally reached the fire, just two blocks away. The flames were a good bit stronger now than ten minutes earlier.

In all, over a dozen pieces of fire equipment consisting of pumpers and water trucks arrived on the scene from many stations. All had to endure drivers unwilling to pull aside, actively pulling out in front of, or blocking their way. The height and luminosity of the flames were apparent to all. Each driver had to know exactly what they were doing...blocking the ability of the fire fighters to respond to the emergency.


It has been said Filipinos suffer from a "crab mentality". That means they behave like crabs in a basket. One tries to climb out. As it makes progress towards the rim, the others grab for it and pull it down. In the end, none of them are able to climb out of the basket.

Drivers in metro Manila (and perhaps all across the Philippines. But I believe it is far worse here, and I'm hoping it is exclusive to Manila.) are so caught up in this mentality they won't let anyone in front of them or pass by them. Not even fire fighters trying to extinguish a fire just a block ahead.

There is no sense of working together.

No cooperation.

Simple-minded selfishness.

Pure greed.

And hypocritical.

I'm sure the fire fighters will remember God Loves and Jesus Saves. They must. It's all over the vehicles blocking their way to the fire. I just hope Jesus saved anyone who might have been in the building(s) as it/they burned.


The street system here also does little to facilitate rapid responses to emergencies. With many one-way streets, lovely boulevards with a line of trees down the center that divides traffic, and narrow roads with large numbers of vehicles "waiting" where they are not allowed to stop, it is virtually impossible for them to respond in time.

It reminds me of a friend who was stranded for several hours on the expressway as a large fire raged several kilometers ahead. With only one expressway, it virtually shut down all of metro Manila. We were in agreement that another blanket bombing of Manila like in WWII is in order so that it can be rebuilt in a logical, organized manner. (Georgians take note: much the same could be done with Atlanta, so people I know there say. Anyone want to play General Sherman?)

What the fire department here needs is what all the diplomats get: a security escort led by a half-dozen motorcycles that move quite swiftly through the streets here. The motorcycles always arrive well before the motorcade to have the intersections cleared.
The police could do this, but they're too busy ignoring the vehicles making illegal left turns at the intersection just below us.